My brothers friend...
My favourite getting lost on holiday story is my brothers friends tale. His family booked a fortnight away in Cornwall, however the father, Steve, was unable to get the first day of the holiday off work as he worked nights. So they hit upon a plan where the mum and kids (all of whom were grown up) would travel down during the day and my brothers best friend Peter would remain at home, and drive down with his dad Steve in the early hours immediately after Steve finished his nightshift, thus avoiding some of the worst of the traffic.
All went well and Peter duly arrived to pick Steve up from work in the early hours. Steve however was tired after work and fell fast asleep in the back of the car. It is important at this point to point out that Peter was, and still is, a few biscuits short of a packet.
Steve awoke a good few hours later to ask how things were going. "Great !" replied Peter, "We are coming off the motorway soon!" Steve glanced at his watch, he couldn't believe that only three hours or so had passed and they were already near the terminus of the M5 at Exeter. "Where are we?" he asked.
"near somewhere called Carlisle - the end of the motorway."
I swear this is a true story. Emphasised by the fact that they turned around and stopped at Killington services coming south. a contrite Peter went in to pay for their breakfast, and realised he'd left his wallet at home. So on their way back they called in to pick it up.
Also, when asked by two workmen if he could make them "two coffees, one white one sugar, one black no sugar". Disappeared into the kitchen, banged tins and cups around for 15 minutes and came back out stating "We haven't got any black or white coffee, will brown do?"