Cancelled Wedding

Okay, before I launch into this (cos it is pretty lengthy), I'd like to introduce myself - my name is Charlotte, I'm 24 and I live in the north-east of England, with my fiancé and my dog (a black pug called Fonzy).

Right then, to explain the situation I am in now, first I better explain how I got here:

My Dad (Phil) was the manager of a small hotel/inn not far from where I live, up until the brewery decided to put new leaseholders in there from 06.04.09. In August 2008, I had booked my wedding there for 04.07.09 and had been planning things with my Dad since then (the place has a license to hold civil ceremonies, so we decided to have everything there). As he no longer manages the hotel/inn, and my wedding is only nine weeks away, it falls under the new management.

Yesterday, myself, my fiancé and 5 members of his family went there for a meal. This was partly so that the family could see where the wedding was going to be and have a look around prior to the wedding and also so that we could arrange a future appointment to go through our wedding plans with the new management. Primarily, we wanted to go out for a meal together, as some of the family members live in South Shields, and we are in East Yorkshire, and we could have a nice day out together.

What follows is my account of the day (which I was advised to type up while it was still fresh in my mind by a legal advisor). I shall point out now, as it may cause confusion later, that my fiancé has a condition known as diastrophic dwarfism and as a result he is of short stature (3ft 8in).

Table was booked for 12:30.

We took our seats and once we had established who wanted what, placed our order at the bar.

We waited at least 60 minutes before the 4 starters arrived. During this course, the two diners having soup remarked to the other diners that it was almost cold. By this point, the bar was quite busy (which had been demonstrated by the fact I had queued for approximately 10 minutes just to order the food initially), and there were only ever a maximum of two staff members behind the bar, and only one waitress that I had seen on service. There were other diners in the bar and conservatory who had ordered after us and were served with their food before us.

During this course, the waitress did not check on us to see if everything was okay. The waitress cleared our plates away without comment once we had finished.

Once our plates had been cleared and after waiting a considerable amount of time, Richard went to the toilet and then joined me outside for a cigarette. During this time, Richard told me that one of the toilet cubicles seemed to have not been cleaned that day, that there was soggy toilet paper on the floor and a dried on vomit (?) stain on the toilet seat. Once we had finished our cigarettes we returned inside the building at which point Richard mentioned his concerns regarding the toilet to Lisa, the manageress. Lisa said that she would go and check it out and clean up as necessary. She thanked Richard for letting her know.

From the starters being cleared away, we waited a further 45 minutes for the main courses to arrive, which we did not consider to be an acceptable amount of time to wait, especially bearing in mind that Roger has Downs Syndrome and gets very impatient whilst waiting for food, and also that the kitchen were serving a limited menu on this particular day.

When the main courses arrived, the Dijon sauce served over the chicken was cold – this was clearly visible to the other diners as the sauce itself had a 'skin' on it, and the chicken itself was lukewarm. Daphne actually did not eat parts of her chicken breast as they were still uncooked. Some of the diners also felt that the vegetables were not hot enough. As some of our party had not had starters, they were very hungry by this point and ate what they could of the meal, as the waitress was not available to us to voice our opinions to. I would like to add, that I personally quite enjoyed my Roast Beef Dinner, but I did not personally sample all the vegetables served to our table. It was the Chicken dish in particular, that was not of the expected standard.

During this course we were not checked upon by the waitress. Once we had finished the main meal, we sat with our empty plates in front of us for at least 20 minutes, during which time we actually stacked our plates up and placed them at the end of the table, whilst I went to the bar to attempt to order the sweets. After queuing for 10 minutes, I overheard a staff member tell another diner that they had run out of Apple Crumble. As one of our party had requested I order this for her, I returned to our table to ask what she would like instead. When I returned to the table, our dinner plates were still there. I returned to the bar to order our sweets, and queued for another 15 minutes to inform one of the two members of staff behind the bar what we wanted to order.

During this time, our table was partially cleared by the waitress on service, and this was the first occasion that she asked if everything had been to our satisfaction. When asked this, Kenneth told the waitress that his food had been cold and that he was not happy. The waitress said she would inform the management and left us.

When I returned to the table after having ordered the sweets at the bar, Richard and I went for another cigarette and Richard also went to the toilet again. This time, the toilet paper on the floor had been cleaned up, but there was still a dried on stain on the seat and toilet paper stuck to the toilet bowl underneath the hinged area of the seat.

On the way back to the table, Richard asked at the bar if he could speak with Lisa again. The other bar-person asked him to take a seat and said Lisa would be with him as soon as possible. Lisa then proceeded to walk past Richard at least three times before verbally addressing him, although it was clear she knew he was there as she had looked at him several times whilst walking past.

Richard told Lisa that some of the party had felt their food was cold, and at best lukewarm in some cases. Lisa said, that “if we didn't like it, we should have sent it back.” Richard told her that we had been waiting long enough for the food already without sending it back to have it remade, to which Lisa replied, “Well, we are busy.” Richard asked her if she thought it was acceptable to send out cold food from a restaurant kitchen and whether she would be happy were she in the same situation. Lisa replied, “Yes, because I could always send it back”
Richard then said he was concerned about the service due to our wedding being booked there on 4th July 2009 (just nine weeks away). Once Lisa heard the date, she said, “Oh, so you're Phil's family, are you?” Richard said, “Well yes, but that's irrelevant. We just wanted to voice our concerns about the quality of the food and the service prior to our wedding.” Lisa then told Richard to stop shouting at her, when in fact he was not shouting and she was stood over him, being very confrontational. Richard asked again if she thought the service and cold food we had received that day had been acceptable and she said “Yes, it's better cold than burning your mouth off.” Richard then walked away from her and returned to the table.

When Rich returned to our table, the sweets had not arrived and some of our dinner plates were still uncleared. We had also not been asked if we wanted any coffees, so I went to the bar to order them.
While I was queuing at the bar, the member of staff who I had placed the sweet order with went over to our table to double check the sweet order. Seeing this, I returned to our table and told her again what it was we wanted, and also asked if we could have 3 coffees. After about 10 minutes we received the sweets and only one coffee.

At this point Lisa's husband, Stuart, came over to our table and said that if we weren't happy, they would refund our wedding deposit. Rich said, “Hang on, the wedding has nothing to do with it, the meal is what we're not happy with, so the least you could do is refund us for the meal.” Stuart said, “No, we'll refund the wedding”, and walked back to the bar.

I went to the bar to try to clarify the situation and asked Stuart, “So are you telling me that we can't get married here in nine weeks time?” Stuart asked me to take a seat and once he was free, Stuart, Richard & I went into the function room to discuss the matter.

I asked Stuart again - “Are you saying we can't get married here?”
Stuart replied: “Yes, I am - we'll refund your deposit.”
At this point Lisa entered the room and told us: “You've only come here today to cause trouble because you're related to Phil. I don't need people like you telling me that the toilets aren't clean.
Rich asked, “Well would you have sat on that toilet?”
Lisa said, “You should have seen the state of the flat when we got here. We've spent £3500 getting it sorted and £1300 having the kitchen deep-cleaned, all because of the state it was left in by Phil. Did you ever see the flat?”
Rich said, “No I've never been up there, but what reason would I have to go up there? And besides, the state of the flat and the kitchen aren't any of our business or relevant to this matter.”
Lisa then turned to Stuart and told him to write us a cheque, as she didn't want our wedding in their pub. They both then left the room and Rich & I returned to our table and told the rest of the family what had happened.

I started to cry at this point and not wanting to cause a scene in the bar, went back through to the empty function room to be alone. Rich's mother, Daphne, followed me, and said she would try and have a word with them to see if we could sort things out.

continued....

Stuart eventually returned to the function room with Daphne and they sat down to try and talk things over. I remained in the corner of the room crying.

Daphne explained how it was only nine weeks away, everything was already booked, the rooms were already booked and that family were travelling from all over the country to be there, one of whom was a millionaire.
Stuart replied, “I don't care how much money you've got, the people backing me here are millionaires. I've been told by three different people that having your wedding here was going to be trouble.”
I went over to where they were sat and asked him who had told him this and in what respect was he expecting there to be trouble.
He refused to tell me who it was, saying he wouldn't break their confidence. I said, “Okay, well then in what aspect do you think our wedding would be a problem?” He refused to tell me, saying again that he didn't want to break the confidence of the people who had told him this.
Daphne then referred to my 21st birthday party which had been held there a few years ago, and said “we had no trouble that night.”
Stuart said, “I don't mean things like fighting. Fighting wouldn't bother me.”
At this point Lisa entered the room again and said to Stuart, “Just give them their deposit back Stuart. They're trying to cause trouble and I don't want their wedding here. There's no compromisation with me. I have the right to refuse anyone I want to. They wouldn't be complaining about the toilets if they had seen the state of that flat.”
I said, “We're not trying to cause trouble. We brought our family here for a meal today, so they could see where the venue was and have a look around. If any other customer in that bar had an issue with the food or the service, they would have a right to express it without you coming back to them saying stuff about the state of the place when you came in – which is irrelevant to the state of things today.”
Lisa said, “You are trying to cause trouble, telling me the toilets aren't clean when there's nothing wrong with them. I went in there after he [Rich] told me about it, and I blocked the toilets off to clean them. I wiped that seat with a white kitchen cloth, a paper towel, and it came back still white. I don't need people like him [Rich] causing trouble, when I'm trying to build this place up and turn it around.” (when Lisa made this last statement she gestured with her hand to her side at a height of approximately 4 feet - this is roughly Rich's height, and I took offense at this, but said nothing, as she was already behaving in a very confrontational and aggressive manner and I did not wish to make matters worse)

She then directed herself to Stuart - “Stuart, give them their deposit back, there's no compromisation here. I don't want their wedding here, and I don't want them in my pub.”

They both left the room, asking as they went “Who do you want the cheque making out to?” I replied, “You might as well make it out to my Dad as he paid the deposit in the first place.”

Lisa came back with a cheque a few minutes later and gave it to my future mother in law, and said to me, “There's your cheque, now take your family and leave the premises. I don't want you in my pub.”

She then left the room and proceeded to march Richard out of the function room, through the hotel lobby area and out of the hotel lobby entrance. During this, she kept saying “Hurry up, I want you off the premises. Get out.” Rich stopped and turned round to her and said, “Hang on, I'm disabled, I haven't got my walking sticks and I'm walking as fast as I can.” Lisa replied, “Well, you're not walking now, are you? You're stood talking to me, now get off the premises.”

Rich said, “You're going to go a long way with that attitude.” Lisa replied, “We already are, we're doing 100 meals a day instead of 35.”

I went back into the bar area to get my bag and coat, I was stood in the middle of the bar area, putting on my coat, when Stuart approached me from behind and said, “Your fiancé is outside.” I said, “I don't doubt it.”

I then left the premises through the bar entrance and got into my car.



So there you have it. I must point out, that I personally did not expect a refund for the meal as we had eaten it, but that we wanted to express our concern as in just nine weeks time we were supposed to be having our wedding reception there - the main meal for which was Fillet Steak, and if they can't cook chicken breasts for Sunday dinner, it was difficult for us to be confident that the food at our wedding would be up to scratch. After we left the premises we went straight to my dad's place, where he refused to accept the cheque and phoned Stuart to advise him of this. He also sought free legal advice from the B.I.I's 24 hour helpline. On their advice I have now also written the following letter:

Dear Stuart & Lisa,

Further to our conversations with yourselves on 3rd May 2009 upon your premises, during which time you cancelled our wedding and gave us a cheque for £300.00 made out to my father, Mr P. [surname removed], I am writing to inform you that my father will not be accepting this cheque, and you will find it enclosed with this letter.

As far as we are concerned, you have a legal responsibility, as the new management of the [name removed], to honour any contracts made by the previous management with any customer, regardless of their relationship to the previous management and without prejudice in regards of age, race, gender, disability, sexual orientation or religious beliefs.

With reference to any grievance you may have with my father, this should not affect any contract held between the [name removed] and my fiancé & I.

Having taken legal advice on this matter, we would appreciate a response within the next 7 days fully explaining your contractual reasons for cancelling our wedding at such short notice.


Yours Sincerely,




Charlotte [surname removed] & Richard [surname removed]

I would appreciate any advice anyone could give on this matter as I do not feel their reasons for cancelling our wedding are legitimate/fair.

As you can appreciate, if they changed their minds and said we could have our wedding there after all, it would be hard for us to trust them not to spoil the day.

We have already contacted a couple of other venues, and we are probably going to seek compensation for the difference between the original cost of the day and what we will now have to pay somewhere else.

Tony said:

I agree with Georgina this kind of thing could take over your life. It might be easier just to close the chapter and move on. There are more important things, I just hope you can find somewhere at quite short notice.

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My Dad was advised not to take the cheque by a legal advisor, as this would be considered acceptance, and full and final settlement of the matter from a legal standpoint. Returning the cheque indicates that the matter is still unresolved and the contract has not been terminated. It's like with personal injury claims - if you accept the first offer and then 12 months later your health worsens as a consequence of the original injury, you have no right to ask for further compensation, as by accepting the first offer, you have shown that you consider the matter closed.

As we are now having to look at spending more money than originally intended, we are in a position to pursue a claim for compensation over and above the original budget with the previous venue. I know it might seem a rather callous approach to what should have been the best day of our lives (and we still intend for it be so), but we are not going to let them put us into a position of financial hardship just because they have no idea how to run their business.

Georginazn said:

Poor you - what a horrible turn of events. If I were you, I would retrieve the deposit cheque as unemotionally as you can and also cancel the accommodation, then rearrange elsewhere. You need to look forward to such a special event and it will leave a sour taste if you stay with this place. I wouldn't even in this case try and seek compensation, as although I am usually a fighter, your memories of your special day will me marred, and you will be embarking on an exhausting process at a time when you have enough to think about, and which may not achieve much.
It sounds like you have made a great escape and I am sure, when the happy day arrives, you will be glad you found out in time! hope you have a wonderful day.

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Thank you for your kind words and best wishes. I am determined not to let obstacles such as these to ruin our day, and it is entirely possible that the day will actually now be even better. However, I am so disgusted with the way I have been treated, if only for the sake of other wedding couples planning to use this venue, I am also determined to make sure they know that they cannot treat people this way

Georginazn said:

Good for you - but please be prepared for a frustrating battle! Gather your weapons - every bit of paperwork you have ever had about the matter, witness statements about the events over your meal, a break down of what you had contracted with costs, and include as much detail as possible including dates of calls etc. Copy all correspondence to at least one other party - in this case definitely the hotel/inn management - presumably your dad could help you reach the top of the food chain, and preferably the top two members of staff - what you must avoid at all costs is the letter down the back of the radiator syndrome!?
Call in the cheapest advisors you can initially, some solicitors will do a free half hour. The legal route will be expensive with no guarantees.
I admire your pluck, but try to bear in mind that they are small fry, and your testament locally, will have an effect on their reputation in any case.
Don't want to sound negative about your battle, but you sound so nice, and I know the distress these situations can cause - but I sincerely wish you the best of luck

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Thanks for the advice. This was the first occasion we had ever had any contact with the new management, all previous contact was made through my Dad (who no longer runs the place). I believe we have some legal benefits as part of our home insurance policy, and my partner is also a member of Unison. My father may also be able to access legal services through the B.I.I. We have already made contact with several divisions of the local media to make them aware of the incident and also reported the venue to the local council as it is them who issue the civil cermonies licences. Meanwhile, we have an appointment tomorrow night with another venue to discuss having the wedding cermeony & receptions there. The tow members of staff, Lisa & Stewart, are the management as the property is on a leasehold, so they just pay rent to the brewery. I doubt the brewery would be interested in this as they have no involvement in the running of the business.

I am fully prepared to take them on, even if the only thing we gain is the satisfaction of knowing that they have learnt a valuable lesson.